Volume 7 No. 3
March? You're kidding. It's March already? What happened to February?
WHAT'S NEW
The March update contains new WRITTEN WISDOM on each page. All the quotations this month are from that profligate thinker ANONYMOUS. It's interesting to see how many wise sayings bear no attribution.
WELCOME: March NOTE FROM JOAN
READING: BOOK REVIEW "A Year In Provence" by Peter Mayle
WRITING: HOW TO RESEARCH AGENTS
WORDPLAY: You're reading it! You'll find 2 articles below: both readable and entertaining though one is geared toward writers mostly.
ARCHIVES: All feature articles from February have been archived. Don't forget the oldest articles will be deleted March 31, 2008.
WORK IN PROGRESS: New note 3 of 12.
PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED: Shuffled things around a bit.
Now, let me entertain you!
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FOR READERS & OTHERS
FUNNY TITLES
by Joan Reeves
(Just like TV, here's a rerun from years ago! Except without those annoying commercials!)
When I was working in the garden the other day, my husband made a ribald comment about a certain part of my anatomy that was plainly visible as I bent over to pull some nut grass from among the yellow iris encampment. (Encampment is the correct word since Louisiana iris in this climate is like an invading army in a forced march to conquer all other plant life and take over the yard.)
I laughed at what he said and retorted: "Yeah, don't bend over in the garden, you know them taters got eyes." That line, a title from one of Lewis Grizzard’s hilarious books reminded me of his contribution to southern humor.
LEWIS GRIZZARD
Unfortunately, the talented author who was a long-time columnist for the Atlanta Journal and Constitution died too young. Lewis McDonald Grizzard Jr. was only forty-seven when he passed away in 1994. He was the label he coined: a SAWB. That's Smart Ass White Boy for those who don't know.
Lewis is often quoted. Here are some of his best lines.
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
"The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life's most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put rum or bourbon in it."
"Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes."
"If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi."
FUNNIEST TITLES
Here are what I think are his funniest book titles.
1. Chili Dawgs Always Bark At Night
2. Don't Bend Over In The Garden, Granny, You Know Them Taters Got Eyes
3. If I Ever Get Back To Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet To The Ground
4. Shoot Low, Boys--They're Ridin' Shetland Ponies
5. I Took A Lickin' And Kept On Tickin' (And Now I Believe In Miracles)
6. They Tore Out My Heart and Stomped That Sucker Flat
7. If Love Were Oil, I'd Be About a Quart Low
8. Elvis Is Dead and I Don't Feel So Good Myself
9. My Daddy Was a Pistol and I'm a Son of a Gun
10. I Haven't Understood Anything Since 1962, and Other Nekkid Truths
Lewis Grizzard, gone, but not forgotten.
-----RIGHT FOR WRITERS & OTHERS TOO-----
PRINT WRITING VS. WEB WRITING
by Joan Reeves
A lot of writers think that if you can successfully write for print publication, then you can write for web publication equally well.
However, what they haven't picked up on are the differences between the two. Lack of knowledge about the differences may keep someone from succeeding at web writing.
WEB READING
People who read online actually read differently than if they were reading a book, magazine, or newspaper. Online reading is tiring to the eyes.
When reading online, one doesn't usually read every word. Your eye skims across the presented text, picking out the most interesting part and reading that. Most people don't read every word of online text. They just go for the interesting parts.
Therefore, the text must be formatted a little differently as well as be a little different in content.
5 WEB WRITING RULES
1. Don't write flowery prose. Web readers want to find what they came to the webpage for. Give them the facts. Sure, make it creative and interesting but don't get bogged down in minutia or too much description or the reader will just move on.
2. Don't write like an erudite college professor. Save your twenty dollar words and use the ones everyone uses. In other words, keep the tone casual as if you were having a conversation with someone.
3. Don't create huge long blocks of text. Write short paragraphs.
4. Break up the flow of text with Sub-headings.
5. If possible, give bulleted or numbered lists. Short lists are best.
GIVE THEM VALUE
Rather than get bogged down with explanations about some things you may mention or reference, insert links into your text. That way the reader can click the link and follow it straight to the horse's mouth if they want more in depth information about something.
SIMILARITIES
Of course, there are similarities between web writing and print writing.
1. Both forms call for creating content that will hold a reader's interest.
2. Both demand good grammar and spelling with an adequate vocabulary.
3. Print and online both require absolute integrity so that the work you present is your work, not stolen from another writer.
4. All writing requires excellent research skills, not just looking at one source online. Don't forget there are real library books, periodicals, encyclopedias, and so much more that can be accessed. Don't depend only on Google for finding information.
5. Good writing is still good writing, whether you do it for print or online.
Set high standards for yourself so that you never let readers down, but more importantly, so you don't let yourself down.
